Hello my friend, my new pen-pal – this is a love letter. I’m a long way away from NZ / Australia, I’m writing to you now before homesickness kicks in! I don’t think I’ve written anything or emailed anyone since March – It was a HUGE month. I went to Sydney had a fascinatingly sexy time there, ran a public Shibari Magick ritual then finished up the last Queer Tarot Exhibition held in Daylesford (the Queerest country town in Victoria). Then I moved out of my house in Melbourne, a few days later I was jet setting off to the Gold Coast for Cloud Catcher – two weeks after that I left for Canada!
Honestly, today I sat down to dye my hair and it is all slowly catching up with me.. Have you ever felt like you’re in such a big state of change, flux that your feet aren’t on the ground but you just have to keep moving or you’ll fall out of the tornado that you’ve created? I’m used to doing things with a really quickly. Deciding I’m going to do something then immediately making it happen. This whole year has felt like an ever escalating tornado, of learning, working, traveling and meeting new and wonderful people, that I’m likely never to forget.
I planned for months, and prepared, applied for my visa, downsized everything and got my life in order. I was leaving and I was doing it right. Also how powerful is manifestation? When I moved to Australia, I told myself and others, that I’d probably be there 5 years, then live somewhere else.. Then promptly forgot about it.
Here we are almost 5 years to the month later, and I’ve a flight ticket booked and a visa in hand realising that what you say with belief really does come to happen. I wanted to live in the northern hemisphere and here I am, falling slowly in love with this place. I’ve fallen out of love with cities and I’m just working out how to break up with them. Finding ways to live, support myself and make connections that don’t require being in the suburban jungle.
Back to manifestation. I’ve learned more about the power of manifestation in 6 months, than I could have imagined. I thrived, not just survived. I wanted to see more of Australia before I left the country, and managed to make it all the way to Byron Bay, the Gold Coast and Springbrook hinterlands to the misty mountains where the clouds reach in to touch the earth. After finishing up the last of my Queer Tarot Exhibitions, my energy and drive to keep shooting lulled. I was heavy with what I’d learned from doing the exhibitions and self doubt that I could have done it all so much better… Putting myself, my art and my expectations out there to be met with a different reaction to what I’d expected left me vulnerable and a little deflated.
I was reignited when I applied for a activist scholarship to Cloud Catcher Witch Camp. All of you who are in my tarot cards helped me make this happen. Looking at the difference it’s made to your lives, stating what the importance to you of a Queer Tarot deck or a platform for yours and other Queer Voices – stirred up the fire in me again. With the support of Spencer of Magick Australia, who I owe deep gratitude to I got accepted and met 90+ amazing witches, pagans, seers and fairies. I don’t think I’ve felt more accepted as “Me” in a way it was safe to be a sobbing mess, and simultaneously a confident speaker sharing my passion for a topic or leading ritual, all while having space held for me. I LOVE YOU and thank you, I know you all are reading this.
In the last 2 months before I left Australia I shot over 20 tarot cards! I have still more than half that many to edit and produce, but I am slowly getting there, finding my feet here in Vancouver, a rhythm and routine. Soon I will write about my journeys with each tarot card, how I experience them through the stories that I’m told, through the magick we create. I shot 6 cards at witch camp with wonderful humans. I’m not sure how we fitted it in, but I am grateful for the trust they showed in my, having really only just met me, to then tell their stories.
I crammed in 6 photoshoots in the very last week before I left. A reignited sense of urgency, and passion consuming me, where I probably should have rested more, I didn’t I worked, traveled rushed around and enjoyed every second of it. I love my periods of isolate, reclusiveness and hidden activity but I also love my Yang energy, fiery, extroverted and on go. This inspiration has a hold of me, a possession, obsession, passion project and I love it. I will write soon at length the story I feel about how this happened, and how this inspiration chose me to come to form, to find a way to be realised.
Manifesting in a way I decide with complete definitiveness what I want, then put it out there to the universe. In retrospect the universe has a wonderful way of testing my resolve to do all the things that I’d said I really wanted to do.
I wanted to work for myself full time? Yes okay, then here is a redundancy package so you can move, and test out supporting yourself full time for 4 months before you leave while you have lots of support and friends around you.
You want to live a mobile life? Okay well test if you can handle it by living out of your car and on people’s couches for a month in a city where you know lots of people and have all the options.
Want to live a more simple, less material life? Okay well downsize your entire life and material possessions into two suitcases, and really two suitcases because you’re gonna have to lug them around a while before you leave!
Now? How do I want to support myself and travel here in Canada? Thanks Universe, I’m ready to keep learning.
Well they let me into the country and I truly am thankful for all my blessings. I wanted to first of all live with a friend or someone I knew a little when I first got to Canada. Well my friends manifestation WORKS!! Not only am I sitting writing this from the most beautiful house, with wonderful housemates, the spring blossoms are out, the weather is crisp but warm, and hopefully I shall have a vehicle soon too. More about that when it happens.
I’ve put together a wee photo gallery of all my adventures here in Canada so far – Click here to take a look.