1. How would you define your sexuality? (Gay, bisexual, experimenting, etc).
I’d say, defiantly Bi-sexual. I’ve had internal quandaries many times as to if I was straight and pretending or Lesbian and not admitting it. But as I’ve gotten more confident in who I am and my loves and priorities in life.
1. What is your view of alternate sexualities? For example, do you believe sexual orientation is black and white (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual), or do you believe there is a continuum on which everyone falls?
In reality I have thought a few times that people were overtly poly-sexual and an orientation was just a personal choice. But lately I’ve thought that its more likely a chemical makeup of the brain, as even as a young girl I was more attracted to females than males – but not in a exclusive way.
2. What has been your experience as someone with an “alternate” sexuality? Do you think you are treated fairly/given equal opportunities by those you interact with?
Mostly yes. I’m open with my sexuality but I don’t like to force it on anyone. I suppose bi-sexuality is not treated so far from the norm in a girl that anything other than fascination is shown.
3. Have you ever been stigmatized, discriminated against, or abused because of your sexual orientation?
I do. It really irks me when my sexuality is treated as a turn on for people just wanting a wank-fest. Just because your porn today portrays your ideal woman as hooking up with other females for the pleasure of those watching my bi-sexuality is just the way I am and I do not do it to get anyone else off!
3. Do you think there is enough awareness and tolerance of homosexuality in the New Zealand environment?
Its growing and getting better, I think gays and lesbians have it harder than bi-sexual’s. The abuse same sex couples get is horrible and the more inebriated people are the worse it gets.4. Have you ever been aware of assumptions associated with bisexualism? (Common assumptions and labels are that bisexuals are promiscuous, confused, attention seeking, “greedy”(!), hedonistic, etc.
Yes, and I feel it when I’m around other homosexuals. The feeling that, “You haven’t got the balls to admit your gay” or “You’re doing it for the attention”. Unfortunately these labels and assumptions are largely based on truth of a few who make it harder for those of us who truly identify with bi-sexuality.
5. Do you agree with any of these assumptions? If so, why?
The sluttish, attention seeking behaviour is far too widespread and gives female bi-sexual a bad reputation. On the other hand it eliminates them by demanding people prove or stick by their orientation to be accepted in gay circles.
6. If you are socialising with mainly gay/lesbian friends, are bisexual friends included in the mix?
Only if they have the “this is who I am – deal with it” attitude. Other than that I find that bi-sexuals tend to socialise with others and more so with straights, and unfortunately those who are along for the ride.
7. Have you noticed a different sort of romantic dynamic or interaction that occurs between homosexuals and bisexuals (different to the dynamic between two gay people? Or two bisexuals?)
Bi-sexuals are generally not as confident or the ones that are, are few and far between. That confidence dictates the difference between engaging in flirtatious behaviour or actually romantic behaviour.
8. If so, why do you think there is a difference in interaction?
Gays are generally looking for a long term relationship and Bi-sexuals by generalisation are not, or for a relationship with a 3 dimensional aspect.9. Have you ever been romantically involved with a bisexual?
10. If so, were there any added pressures/constraints or different elements to the relationship?
Yes – she turned straight. Not a pleasant experience.
11. Have you been aware of wariness among gay people about dating bisexuals? (For example, I have heard many gay/lesbian people say they do not trust a relationship with a bisexual for several reasons: promiscuity, swinging back the other way, etc).
Oh yes definitely – I’ve had gay girls interested in me, only to turn off when they hear I was bi-sexual not gay. I think in general it is the extra complication and sharing that doesn’t agree. Bi-sexuals have a history of sharing partners and gay couples tend to be more protective and jealous as are straight couples. It’s a weird in-between. But in saying that – its still a generalisation.
12. Do you share this wariness? If so, why? If not, why not?
I am wary of those who proclaim to be bi-sexual are aren’t. Burnt once, forever wary. But with love one always has to take chances. Unfortunately the attention seeking kind tend to make those who truly identify with bi-sexuality more secretive and private.
13. Do you think bisexuals have as strong an identity as other members of the community? (Hetero/gay/lesbian/transgender people).
No. The group is too overshadowed with sterio types, but as women and men become more confident, open minded and liberal I think that it could be something of the future.14. Do you think more can or should be done to promote awareness of bisexuality as a real, legitimate sexuality?
Yes. And to strongly discourage attention-whoring.15. Why or why not?
There are some people out there who are confused and unhappy because they can’t work them selves out. Imagine being in a gay or straight relationship and constantly feeling guilty for also having feeling for the opposite sex.