I thought I would write this up myself for my blog. I don’t believe in false pretences or pretending to be someone you’re not, even if it’s taken a good 10 years to get comfortable with that myself.
Before I dish out advice wily nilly I want to share a bit of background on of own story and experiences not as a justification but to be empathetic and non-pretentious.
My mum and dad are Reformed Baptists, from Closed Brethren (on my dad’s side) and Chrisadelphian (on my mum’s side). Religion has been a very influential part in their upbringing and consequentially mine too.
Since I can remember they took me and my younger brother and sister to church twice on Sundays and sometimes on a Wednesday evening for prayers too. Sunday school in the morning was a constant till I was 15 years old.
I suppose you could say my family were very traditional. Dad had the full time corporate job and mum stayed at home..
My mom was a bit of a superwoman (and still is) when I look back and see what she managed to do when I was a kid. She taught myself, my younger brother and sister – home school, and not the correspondence type either.
So that involved making sure she knew what we were supposed to be learning at what age, making and giving us home work and quite possibly refreshing on the work / information herself.
So from age 5 to 13 mum taught me and managed to make my dad’s salary stretch to feel 5, and send us to sports, dancing and clothe us.
I always thought my dad earned millions as a kid, but it pales into insignificance when I realised I’m on his salary now, except I don’t have a mortgage, wife, kids or comparable bills to pay!!
Once I turned 13 I must have turned into one of those difficult kids. I decided I didn’t want to be homeschooled anymore and I wanted to go to school. I wanted to interact with other kids every day, I wanted to go to REAL school.
So my parents dutifully coughed up (I hate to think how much) to send me to a private Christian (also Reformed Baptist) school that was just up the road. In comparison to a public school it was nothing but I loved it (not knowing any different).
I completed 1st, 2nd and 3rd forms there and then decided I had had enough. I couldn’t explain to you why now, I can’t remember, but weirdly my parents allowed me to come home and continue my schooling by correspondence.
I revelled in not having the restraints of classroom and teachers, but struggled with the work load and self management as you could expect from a teenager. After a couple of years I’d had enough and quit.
With no school qualifications I can only thank my lucky stars that I’ve worked my way up the corporate ladder and self educated as I’ve needed to a) get to where I am now, and b) finally decide on a career path that I now love!
That was a slightly extensive background – sorry, I tend to overdo my explanations, and I sometimes tend to talk in the same super detailed wordy way! Now I think explaining myself discovery / sexuality journey will make a lot more sense!
Mum and dad were very much – our daughters will meet a guy, go through a formal courtship process, get engaged and then move out of home when they get married… then think grandkids, stay at home mom, house, family and all that goes with it…
I guess I screwed those plans up by bringing a boyfriend home at 17 to meet my parents then later moving out into a flat with a friend, the moment I had a full time job to support myself (read 21k a year!).
The boy friend must have been for all of 4-6 months.. and when I finally brought him to meet the parents, my dad must have freaked out. He got the 20 questions, including do you plan on marrying my daughter, and what are your intentions from here?
For a 16 year old from a totally non religious, split family background, no wonder he gapped it and dumped me the next day. He wanted sex and whatever a horny young male wants at 16 and religious courtships don’t feature on those kind of agendas!
Fast forward 5 years… I’m now dating / living with a guy 7 years older than me, whom my parents weren’t too fond of, due to his fondness of souped up fast cars and argumentative – devil’s advocate methods of conversation.
Somewhere along the lines I decided that I was also quite fond of females and gradually over the past 3 years got quite comfortable with identifying as a bi-sexual. It wasn’t a problem for the relationship at the time… red-blooded male – bisexual girl = double win..?
And here I’m gonna stop… To be continued when I’ve a bit more time its after 1pm and I still haven’t eaten lunch!
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