These two words can mean so much to different people. I’m just trying now to comprehend what they mean to me. Breakups are aweful, I hate them and they take a long time to recover from, especially when you might have been madly in love with that person a one point. I have a pile of questions that my analytical brain keeps turning over and over and over. Instead of leaving it all internal I’m gonna practice my own ‘therapy’ advice and off load to my blog.
Question 1:     What is “Moving on”?
Some seem to think that not seeing your old partner, and dating or sleeping with other people equals moving on. I absolutely disagree. I believe someone can totally be still doing these things and not moving on from their old love. All they are doing is avoiding dealing with that grief and pain. Hiding behind distraction and carnal pleasure or self satisfaction….
At the opposite end of the spectrum… there’s the giant black pool of gloom and depression.. Anyone who wallows in sadness for months isn’t ‘Moving on’ either.  I’m not an expert and I also rarely take my own advice. I do know that one side of a relanship breakup in gloominess doesn’t help the other move on either.
Question 2: The gap period.. how long should it be?
This question is flawed automatically by assuming one person is wanting to be back in a relationship. What about “non-relationships” I’m a cynic now. Love, relationships, weddings.. I’ve lost my trust in them. The idea of being comfortable back in one scares the bejebus out of me. So you need a healing period between right? Or so the social stigma standard goes. How long will it take before I can trust romance again?
Question 3: Breakups and drama – why?
Why can two people just leave each other the fuck alone. Clean break type style, and then be friends when they next run into each other?
I answer my own question when I look around my room and see things that still hold memories or log into social networking and see photos of six months ago. That history never goes away. Its dramatic cos it hurts. It hurts cos we cared. But seriously I don’t want to know if your still in love with me cos IM TRYING TO MOVE ON…
Those drunk embarrassing moments when I just fell apart and cried still torment me. Why! Dumb brain its not ok, grow up.
Question 4: New love – how does one not compare it?
All I keep thinking of when I might feel ready to tell someone else that I love them (gah panic, scary, runs away!) Is it easy to just be royalty involved in the moment with out getting reminded of the past. I don’t want to be reminded of the past. Most of the time drinking helps this, but that’s gonnna make me fat and an alcoholic.  Fuck that. Id love to not have to deal with emotions. To live in a rainbows lollypops and sunshine world, but of course that’s never going to happen.  Also any thoughts that I could acomplish a state of polyamoury are disappearing. I probably could, but I’m still trying to sort myself out at the moment and its taking ages! I’ve completely waffled off that question. Of course its going to be completely different. New! Exciting! Thrilling!
These words and esclamations do actually excite me… I’m going to step out of my little analytical hole now. I’ve indulged long enough, now it is time to get up and move on with life. Dumping these thoughts has switched the emotional switch back where it should be in my head. I don’t want there to be a next time either thanks….

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