Its probably been six months almost since I updated last, well maybe not that long but it sure feels like it!

Being rather blunt about it ALLOT has happened, and I think the last time I wrote I was just on the brink of turning over a new leaf, starting a new section of my life.
I’m still in my new job that I started in January. Its going pretty well. I’m still enjoying it thankfully, and learning allot. I think if I could make it any better I would only request to report back to my old boss who is now my Boss’s Boss. She is great, and probably the only reason why I’m not only still here, but also in this role!! (yay for having someone believe in you and get you promoted) For the last 6 months I’ve been in a training role working with all the existing staff and training on new and current products and processes. From what people have been telling me, it’s a way harder job to start off with compared to learning to train fresh faces to the company.

I think I agree. In my situation even tho I’ve been here for 4 years now (WOW for a 24 year old right) there are people who’ve been with the company for twice as long as I have and are actually even twice my age – awesome right?

So anyways I’m proverbially sh*tting my pants as come July I’ll have at least 3 maybe more brand newies to train up. Its not really the actual training that scares me, it’s the thought that if I miss anything or if they turn around in a couple of months time, and say “Oh I didn’t know that” its gonna be my fault! I don’t like that kind of consequence! I suppose I just need to harden up, and make sure I’m 150% prepared. Which I should be doing instead of writing this blog!

I disappeared off the scene for a good couple of months earlier this year/ last year. Something I didn’t plan to do ever. But felt like I had too. Having become single and having both an ex boy friend and ex girlfriend (yes, at the SAME time) was just too much for me. I felt like I was being constantly bombarded from every direction. “What happened, blah blah” bullsh*t.” I can’t believe how much, gossip goes on. That “OMG some one told me your so much happier now and you should have done it years ago” rumour that is only a complete misconstruction of an original comment then taken far to personally and said in a sarcastic mean and cynical way.
Seriously, as much as I’d like to be vindictive and revengeful one day. I actually can’t and in that situation there wasn’t any call for it at all!!

Not often are break ups caused not by distrust, not by infidelity, not by cheating, lying, stealing or any other typical breakup reason. For the last 5+ years I have openly and quite bluntly identified as BI-SEXUAL… That’s the way I saw it that is what I was comfortable with and felt honest with myself. As much as I hate stereotypical “pigeonholing” to be understood by the general public its almost unavoidable.

From the age of 12 or 13 I knew I was attracted to females, I’ve countless memories and a couple of diary entries that confused and scared me at the time. “Why did I want to talk to a certain girl” “Why was I uncharacteristically bashful around a certain girl” “Why did I not have or care to have a boyfriend”. And my list could go on and on. On the flip side I have notes from church services that I went to with my parents on several occasions, blatantly condemning homosexuality and identifying them in the same category as paedophiles. (tho no specific mention was ever made about gay females) Talk about a great way to scare me out of EVER dreaming that I might fall into that category!

Since I came out to myself and friends as Bisexual somewhere around 2000 or 2001I’ve had many encounters with some of the most gorgeous women I know – OMG lucky me- hehe… And each one only reinforced my desire and feeling towards the same sex. I’ve dated a number of girls now, and have even been in the unusual situation of dating both a boy and a girl at the same time – WITH their mutual knowledge of it!! I’ve had my heart broken twice badly by girls I’ve really fallen for, maybe it was my mistake in thinking they also identifying as Bisexual would still take things as seriously as I did! However since that experience I still hesitate to generalize in a negative way towards those who identify as Bisexuals.
Weather some one is still battling internally with their sexual orientation or does genuinely feel that that is what and who they are, I think they should be accepted and fostered in the community much more openly than they are. It is GLBT for a reason.
In my opinion hearts are gonna get broken sometimes regardless of your orientation. Queer or otherwise!

So I dated a boy for five and a half years. He was and still is the best thing that came into my life at the time. I give him credit for giving me the support and strength to explore who I was and what I wanted to be fully in a safe environment. I’ve never met someone so open minded and bluntly honest to the point of almost being abrasive. I believe a person can have more than one soul mate in life, and sometimes that soul mate you have a strong emotional and mental connection with but that physical connection is not always a factor.
I recently spoke to someone about the human brain in relation to Love. 
*Trying to remember who that was* 

There are three parts to love, friendship and connections between humans:

Lust – A physical sexual attraction

Emotion – A connection on an emotional level, often described as kindred spirits

Mental – A connection on a similar intelligence level ie sense of humour, and
goals and desires

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