Justice Tarot Card Magick:
A new year always brings lots of change in it’s wake. Change coming from a growth or and deepening in my perception and knowledge of myself. My new year had been exciting and adventurous, but in not so traditionally creative or productive ways. My subconscious was slowly but effectively teaching my yet another lesson about myself, told here through the Justice Tarot XI.
I love working for myself but I have been learning where my true boundaries are. I’ve worked on a “does this feel right for me” basis or “Is this stimulating, adventurous, and fun? If not, why am I still doing it?” Learning what makes me happy and fulfilled vs drained and unhappy has been the crux this new change.
I had been feeling creatively blocked. Guilt about “neglecting” projects would instantly overwhelm me and “POOF” in that moment any magickal inspiration or manifestations were gone. My exciting adventure of life was just drifting, going nowhere. A hopeless kind of feeling. A heaviness, almost depression overwhelmed me. I numbed myself with TV and online social media trash, only making my guilt feeling worse.
When is enough, enough?
Take a risk and cast loose your old limitation to free your energy and creativity once more.
Knowing you have a choice to make can bring a sense of heaviness and responsibility. There is weight in the awareness of the decisions’ consequences.
A little glimmer in the dark came when I verbally articulated what was bothering me to my partner, one day not really thinking much of it at the time. A glimmer breaking through my dark seemingly endless tunnel. I’d stopped wallowing in my creatively blocked misery, and opened a door to a decision that scared the pants off me.
To transform, breakdowns into breakthroughs is to master the greatest adventure of life.
You would think that having realised what was killing my creative buzz and not allowing me to sink my energy into my business – I’d just damn well do something about it?
Nope. I just felt like I was running away from my “problems”.
I was home schooled till I was 13. Then I attended a tiny private Christians school. At 16 I told my parents I wanted to do correspondence at home again as academia and I were never ever friends. To their credit, and my eternal gratefulness, they supported me. To this day I will never forget that awful school principal standing over me and shouting at me, telling me I was a coward. That I was running away.
I didn’t know how to articulate myself at the time I just knew I was doing was the best thing for me. Now my mental health, my creativity & passionate desire to prove everyone wrong has reinforce that decision..
The psychological pattern created at that moment resurfaced now from my internal critic. I’m trying to figure out what is best for me and I become overwhelmed with a sense of guilt again. With the help of my amazing Tarot mentor I was able to stop and meditate. Thinking “Why am I feeling this? Where is the little girl who felt like this? Is it real?”
Making the decision to free your energy or creativity is never something done without much consideration and awareness.
Equilibrium and energy are out of balance when their flow is interrupted. It takes much meditation and concentration to make the change that feels the most right.
Meditating, dreaming, waking up at 3 am in a cold sweat over “What to do next” conundrum wasn’t easy or fast. I wished my breakthroughs could happen instantly. The time it took has made sure I truly learn and grow from this experience.
I could feel my energy shifting and lifting like a light at the end of the tunnel. I’d made peace with my “inner critic”, my guilt. I knew what I needed to do to restore my creative energy‘s equilibrium. The clarity, swift sense of quiet confidence it gave me was exciting.
I’d decided, taken action without negative consequences, and maintained an objective honest dialogue in the process. I
my boundaries and showed respect for all.
Respect and honesty manifest themselves through decision making and give peace of mind and peace that the decision is right for all.
I was nervous about the outcome of the changes, but as I truly opened up vulnerably to a lesson the universe was teaching me, the glorious outcomes never cease to astound and amaze. Four hand written pages of notes deep and several hours of soulful jazz later this introspective story has nursed my creative flow, wobbling back to balance again.
My psyche has done Justice for that little girl inside of me.
Justice Tarot Magick