Note to self: Relax

Note to self: Relax

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.

You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you need to breathe, trust, let go and  see what happens . 

Amazing camping in Victoria and Tasmania – otherwise known as GLAMPING

Amazing camping in Victoria and Tasmania – otherwise known as GLAMPING

The places these photos are from is Cumberland River Camping grounds, White Beach in Tasmania (just around the corner from Port Arthur) and Riverview camping grounds in Ocean Grove!  I can’t wait to keep checking out more places!

When I say camping I really do mean Glamping.  I’m not going on a 10k hike into the hills carrying everything I need to survive.  I mean taking everything to make the trip as comfortable as possible- the champagne, the feather duvet, lights and lanterns, incense to “enhance the romance” and the kitchen sink.. almost literally.  Running water, flushing toilets and hot showers!

Camping or Glamping you just can’t put a price on waking up to the morning chill or going to bed under the stars and saying goodnight to the moon!

I’m starting my own business and sharing the journey with you!

I’m starting my own business and sharing the journey with you!

I wrote this in the airport and I couldn’t think of a better title.  I’ve not wanted to start my own business all along.  All I really wanted to do was not work for someone else.  I really wanted to feel free, and probably work harder but enjoy what I was doing more.
I only had one or two goals I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30.  I did it. All I wanted to be is someone’s boss.  Not for the achievement of telling someone else what to do, but to science the fraud police in my head.  That somehow I was a valid and qualified person because I was entrusted with the responsibility of telling other people what to do.  It happened quite by accident.  There wasn’t a manager, the team was growing and I put my hand up, I volunteered to take on the responsibility.  I learned heaps and loved it. 

But I was still working for someone else.

In the back of my head I had this thought, “When I’ve had enough of working for the man I’ll become a contractor” I knew I had a skill set that people wanted, mostly in 3ish month contracts, more if you were really lucky or good, and rarely in a full time position.    Again the fraud police:  “You can’t start working for yourself until you’re good enough, you haven’t got quite enough skills yet to be able to do that on your own, and be a marketable product ”Which I know is ridiculous; I would have ended up doing projects that were at my skill level not above.  That’s all; maybe they might have payed more as a contractor.  Self-doubt has a really, really loud voice.
I watched my friend back in NZ taking risks, going out on a limb and starting their own projects.  I looked at my lifestyle and got selfish.  I wanted the freedom to do my own projects, work and business and be passionate about my hard work.  But I liked café breakfasts, living inner city and travel too much.  I wasn’t ready. More than I wasn’t ready, I hadn’t found an idea that I completely and blindly believed in.  I wasn’t ready to back myself, works upper hard and tell the inner voice of self-doubt to “Shut the hell up!!”  My desire to change hadn’t hit the pain threshold that breed’s action.
Contracting felt like a half assed attempt at working for myself.  Yea I might have a home office or choose my hours but I would still be doing work for someone else.  And generally always for larger companies, that felt impersonal.
FINALLY I have a business idea I believe in.  My hatred of self centred projects – (which stems from a deep seated feeling that I don’t deserve the good things I have in life – I’m sure I need to unpack this at therapy soon) meant if I was going to be able to be passionate about something it had to help someone else, or lots of someones, not just me.   A community, I wanted to build a community, a THING that helped people!
My poor girlfriend, on our second date I grilled her about values and beliefs.  What was important to her, what did she live by.  She asked me the same question back, and got a full run down of all the things I stood for.  I was determined she would have an inkling of what she was in for if she was going to date me.   If she didn’t like it hopefully my, smack in the face method of opening up to her who I was, was a defence mechanism. I didn’t want to be hurt, I didn’t want to feel like a failure, so if I was completely open and blunt then it was up to her.  If she didn’t like me it was not my loss.  I was not prepared to change what was so super important to me, which I’d fought to build for anyone any more.   I’ve since learned that “that” is not vulnerability.  It’s definitely one way to go about it, but more on vulnerability another time.
However I think I’ve learned more and changed more in the last year that I ever thought I would.  And I LOVE the “me” I’ve become. I’ve learned the hard way that while I still have to work for someone else, I know where my line is.  No longer am I prepared to commit such a huge emotional energy to a project that isn’t mine.   I learned after seeing 60 odd people all made redundant in a mass lot, that I pick up on the general energy of a group.  A job never belongs to you, so if the job goes away it is only one door closing and another door opening.   
What are you prepared to do, or how involved are you prepared to be – for the money they’re paying you?
It’s a means to an end, to help me get my business off the ground!
Off the grid

Off the grid


Thinking about my upcoming trip to America to Burning Man (OMG I STILL NEED FLIGHTS) I have been looking at some amazing pictures of Off the Grid homes.  Check out the photos on my photo blog:  They’re beautiful and more and more I am craving the bush, camping, water in lakes and rivers.  Which is ironic considering Burning Man is a desert. In a dried up lake bed.  However it is self sustainable, and eco-friendly… for the week that the city exists…
I’m looking forward to a week offline, disconnected and blissfully out of touch with reality.

Living off-grid, or off-the-grid (OTG) means living in a home that operates without using municipal water, gas, power, sewage, or other publicly supplied utilities. Instead, off-grid homes use renewable forms of energy such as solar, wind, and geothermal technologies. A number are heated via wood stoves. Many also use a number of inventive water capturing and repurposing systems, such as rain barrel water collection, grey water systems, composting toilets, energy-efficient appliances, energy-efficient lighting, non-electric/hand-powered appliances, and passive heating/cooling systems (which involves the use of methods such as layering clothing for warmth during cooler months and closing window blinds to keep out heat during warmer months).

Our modern world has jaded the population into believing we need certain things in order to survive. The internet, for one. A cell phone. A car. But what if I told you a person could have all of these things, and still live off the grid?

Nick Rosen, author of Off the Grid: Inside the Movement for More Space, Less Government, and True Independence in Modern America, says: “You can’t get off all of the grids all the time. It’s a question of which grids you choose to get off of and in what way and for how long. [But] going off the grid is not a game. It’s real life and a real choice for real people.”

“The era of 40 acres and a mule has been replaced by the era of a half an acre and a laptop and a solar panel.”

If you’re interested in learning more about off-grid housing, Off-grid andLiving Off Grid offer storehouses of information on the subject.
Burning Man 2015: Self love and sensory overload

Burning Man 2015: Self love and sensory overload

You must love yourself first and foremost. It wasn’t until Amani and I had done much inner healing work on ourselves that we had the adhikara to attract this kind of partnership. You get what you put into the world, especially in relationships where the other person is always your clearest reflection. If you fill yourself with love, love will be reflected. One person could never be everything you need, and it’s selfish and unreasonable to place that burden on someone. Instead, be whole unto yourself.

Fill yourself with radiance, love, fullness, dreams, aspirations, joy, beauty, and magic and you will find that your partner is simply pouring magic and wonder out of their pores for you as well. Then you exponentially better each other. Become vessels, and like two mirrors held to one another whose mere proximity turns them into an infinity mirror, you will grow infinite depth between you.

A person’s heart is a precious and highly sensitive gift — don’t grip it! Hold it gently and reverently in your open palm, let it soak in the fresh air and sunshine. It’s been caged in your partner’s ribs for so long. Now that it’s with you, give it the freedom to fly. To love someone unconditionally is to desire their happiness without rules and conditions as to how they may seek it, or to require that they appease your own selfish comfort zone and personal triggers. To trust someone completely is to honour and value their integrity, to know they will make good decisions for themselves and the partnership. When you are free, every day you spend together is a conscious choice you make — a privilege rather than an obligation.

Quotes directly from here:  Burning Man and Wife

I’m currently learning a brand new way around my heart on a new level. I’ve been doing allot of reading, self analysis and love. Talking to a psychotherapist and really learning to love myself and understand my purpose and sense of personal value to myself.

It’s a glorious experience. I’m glad I have the intelligence and self awareness. It’s exciting and empowering to fell strong and grounded. With that foundation I can entertain the idea of sharing my life and affections without losing my own self, and be strong, relaxed and confident doing so. Although without acknowledging my vulnerability and nerves – it’s an exciting prospect, possibility. Adventure…I’m looking forward to going back to Burning Man 2015 to revisit my awareness of myself.

Looking back to last year: So there I was, walking through the desert, tears streaming down my face, wondering why the hell I had spent so much time and energy to get here. For what, I wondered? For this sensation of being completely overwhelmed and this moment of loneliness? Realising that I needed to love myself, like really open up and experience life, be open to experiences.

I realised that this feeling of overwhelming angst and complete sensory overload, that the fact that my system literally couldn’t handle one more thing (in retrospect) is exactly what I had come for — the time and space to get real with what I was feeling about the my life at large, to actually take the time to feel the stress in my body due to overwork, non-stop noise and complete lack of opportunity for a break or real mental rest, go-go-go, me-me-ME world we are living in.

Time to reconnect with the real inner me; not the appearance, the perception or any of the responsibilities of day to day life.

2015 has been such a year of heart warming growth, friendship, excitement and love. I look forward to the curve ball and discovery that will happen this year. That week where the Default world stops and gives me a moment to experience sensory over load and GET what I’m actually feeling. Dig up my subconscious feelings and become at peace with all the change, the emotion this year has already thrown at me – and the rest I anticipate experiencing between now and then.

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