Rejection: What motivates me

Rejection: What motivates me

Rejection, as an ego-reducing emotion, is nothing short of painful. I’ve been really trying to view rejection as necessary and even positive for me, helping me overcome that pain much more easily. Recognising the hidden elements of this emotion, has been a catalyst for productive change towards a better, stronger, more powerful Me.

Going home.  Being myself at all costs, authentically me.  I love being creative, loud, empathetic, emotional, colourful, a risk taker, an adventurer, magickal, bold, impulsive, grounded, personally stable, a high achiever. I love these things, much more than it hurts if I am rejected or too much for someone because of these things.  I let go of my own ego, and desire to please, or be liked, to follow the things that make me “ME”.  To do the things I feel called to do, to let go of wanting to be liked, to be approved, or validated, to just let go and be me, no matter the temporary pain of rejection I might feel along my journey.  Letting go my ego, being ultimately as vulnerable as I can be just to love myself.

Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they’re living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they’re not afraid to go for it, even when they know there is a risk of heartbreak or pain.

REJECTION my motivation to success

Disappointment, that is the emotion I felt as I unpacked that feeling rejection.  I wanted to make it work, prove I could do it.  Be a adult, have a successful relationship, work through those hard times, be loved and have proof to myself that I am loveable.  Rejection, feeling disappointed in myself that I potentially wasn’t all those things was crushing.  Moving on from that is feeling and knowing in myself that I am, I am loveable, I am capable of beautiful successful gorgeous love, where I give myself wholeheartedly. I know I can do that, I know I am worthy of being loved and able to love in a supportive, respectful and honestly vulnerable way.  Sharing, loving and giving space, receiving space, being open.  I did it.  I felt it, I loved and thrived.  Just cos it didn’t work once will never mean that that was my only opportunity.  I can do it better, I can experience and share this again, just differently, and in a way that I will have learned, grown and become a more wholeheartedly open version of myself.

Success, long term relationships, marriage, promotions, wealth.  These are all seen by society as good, these are what we are told to strive for.  Failure, disappointment, rejection, hurt and pain are all seen as bad, to be avoided at all costs, to be pushed under a rug and not under any circumstances talked about.  Your subconscious doesn’t see either of these.  It is an extreme state.  It only sees the distance these extreme emotions fling us from our self, our comfort zone, how this distances us from our authentic true self. This is the space we grow from, at either end, as we find our way back to our equilibrium, as we try and find a way of calming down the emotional roller coaster of extremes.  

Never get rejected, are you living too far inside your comfort zone? You can't be sure you're pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down occasionally. Getting rejected: you know you're putting yourself out there. Click To Tweet

As we let go of the ego that either celebrates itself or wants to put it’s head in a hole, we come back home.  Sitting in that emotion and feeling it, acknowledging it, and allowing ourselves space to work our way back to what is truly important to self, our hearts. That singular thing that we love to devote ourselves to whole heartedly without care about the outcome.  It could be either or any of these – service, creativity, faith, family, adventure. Doing something worthy in a way that is wholehearted regardless of outcome, is a beautiful test of courage, the confidence in yourself that it will be worth it, and the willingness to grow and learn from it whatever the outcome might be.

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. – Carl Jung.

Rejection can be a lifelong ordeal stemming from childhood. Tapping into any of my feelings of childhood abandonment, rejection becomes simply a pattern for me to understand and rewrite throughout my life. Acknowledging my actions may be triggered by a subconscious memory, then being able to step back and objectively unpack my reactions and the patterns come from – is an incredible exercise.  Understanding the primary source of rejection and the impact it had on my inner child can help me deal with this unpleasant emotion. Accepting that this is not the first or last time I’ll feel the ache of rejection, but that I know I’ve defeated this emotion before and that I will emerge stronger from each instance.

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” – Sonya Parker

As years went by and I took on more risks, I invited more rejection into my life. Remember taking risks, being wholeheartedly “in it” or vulnerably “out there”, is a risk. This risk has massive rewards that can be worth the potential hurt.  I don’t ever want the potential to be hurt to stop me loving, to stop me adventuring to stop me being my outgoing, vulnerable, action focused, empathic self, wearing my heart on my sleeve and sharing love wholeheartedly.

I am a self-actualizer and I am “independent of the good opinion of other people.” Click To Tweet

Rejection is negative judgment manifested, and judgment is subjective by nature. This means I can decide to interpret rejection as evidence of someone’s perception rather than as evidence of my flawed nature. People who reject me are the minority!

Estimating how many people I’ve met in my entire life, then counting the number of people who have severely rejected me. Dividing the second number by the first, the result would rarely exceed 1%.

Is 1% significant? I’ve met thousands of people throughout my life and only a couple of people have rejected me in such a way that seriously challenged my self-identity. Bottom line, extreme rejection is usually the exception.

The only reason we suffer the sting of rejection is because we feel emotionally attached to a person. Had we no emotions towards them, their rejection would mean nothing to us. Yet oftentimes it has nothing to do with us. We are attached, we have have placed some expectation or meaning outside of ourselves to our attachment to a person.  We have hopes of the future, expectations of the fulfilment of needs. This expectation, and grasping onto attachment or meaning from a person, something or a experience that is never permanent opens us up to feeling pain and disappointment when that “forever” changes, or the situation shifts in a way we did not expect.

It is hard to remember to speak to myself like a trusted friend. To not conclude that I’m unlovable. To keep rejection in its proper perspective. One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who I am. To not let my self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions, attractions or desire for me. Just because one person has rejected me, doesn’t mean everyone will or that it will be always like that.

Rejection — especially harsh or cruel rejection — can be a manifestation of self-insufficiencies and a lack of self-tolerance or understanding in the other person.  When this idea came up in my reading, it really struck me with a sense of sadness and compassion.  I deeply care and I do not want this kind of suffering for those I care about.  But I have to step back, their journey is not my journey, I cannot see or understand their experience.  I can only be honest and kind to both them and myself.

I can only ask myself this:  “What did I gain from this?” so that I can learn and grow from all rejection I experience. Rather than simply tolerate the pain, I want to turn it into an opportunity for self-growth. To grow stronger and become better, to let go of what does not serve me, and embrace the emptiness, impermanence and change of this world around me in a way that frees me from pain, disappointment and hurt and opens doors for sharing the gifts of creativity and empathy I have been blessed with.

I know and am acutely aware of this unpleasant experience, but if I don’t endlessly focus on it, I’ll can take away its power. Placing my attention on the positive, gratitude for my blessings and privileges I have and amazing support I receive from others. Being consciously aware of the people who have supported and encouraged me will allow me to align with high-energy emotions and positive situations.  

I love this crazy mantra “THIS IS FEAR! DON’T GIVE FEAR THE POWER OVER YOU!”

Once I’m back in a place where I’m conscious of my own magnificence, rejection will lose its power. I don’t necessarily feel that thrilled about experiencing feelings of rejection, but I know I will bounce back quickly.  And most importantly, I’ll continue fully embracing my life, pursuing my wholehearted truth, and focusing on the many gifts I have to share from my past, in the present, and forward into the future.

Abundance and friendship: Three of Cups

Abundance and friendship: Three of Cups

I believe if you wish to gain, achieve or learn something specific in life, and must be for or about yourself. Click To Tweet

You nor I cannot manifest or change someone else into being nicer, kinder or more loving.  You cannot change someone else, and it is not good for us either to wish harm to others. The universe would only throw that back in your face.  In those situations, all we control or influence is ourselves. We can change, react or simply leave the situation.

I see abundance in the three of cups, it nudges me to consider, in the madness of my life, how inexhaustible love can be and abundance we all have within us and how we share it, should we do the work to discover it. It challenges me to look at my relationship with my fear of scarcity or lack (reversed).

If our manifestations are focused outwards instead of inwards, the universe may bring about that manifestation to us in ways less than pleasant.   When we focus inward it encourages us to work on ourselves, become more open and ready to do our own hard work. Friendship can help and support us through this journey. The spirit of friendship, to help and with help and love from others, that I have shared with my friends in solidarity. I feel blessed to be able to share my struggle to build a balanced relationship with abundance. Manifesting abundance is to love yourself, to love others and be loved, to give and be given to, to feel part of a greater whole.

This past year I think I’m a bit of a Lucky B*tch and I have been manifesting like a mo-fo. I’ve always believed that “If you dream it, you can make it happen”. I almost gave myself no option but to trust my gut instincts and believe that my manifestations would lead me down the right track. A few of the things have been material objects like my couch, and an amazing lamp that I’d described to myself in great detail – that I then found at a side of the road garage sale for $20 (it needed many many hours of elbow grease polishing and cleaning off all the rust)!


Others have been more challenging like, finding the perfect place to live in. I tried desperately and with much grief to find somewhere for a me and a friend to live. As soon as I gave up on what I ‘thought I wanted’ and accepted that maybe I should live on my own, the universe brought a literal choice of places to pick from right into my lap. I was trying to manifest what I thought she wanted, instead of what I needed to ground myself to be able to create and share from a place where my cup was completely full.  I’d resisted and resisted which caused me nothing but pain, and the moment I stopped resisting, listened, looked at the love I needed, the opportunities appeared.

  • It taught me to stop trying to please everyone else at a detriment to myself, my stress levels and mental health
  • It taught me, that loving others does not mean compromising myself
  • It taught me to stop, feel the pain, and be open to the unexpected, the impermanence of what we “think” we want
  • It taught me a lesson in boundary setting and self care I’m still continuing to learn

Well played universe, well played.

Then even more recently than that, I stopped working full time to work part time and focus more strongly on my business.  That meant a new job and changes to my budgeting and bank balance. The universe really had it in for me to learn a lesson in trust (I’m still not a confident expert).  Trusting everything would be okay, I’d be able to stop eating into my savings or adjust my lifestyle and manage my money better. I didn’t want to feel like I had a negative relationship with my money, or that I was a miserly scrooge. I was struggling however to have a healthy non codependent relationship with my business income and pay checks.  

After a couple of tearful and stressed moments, beautiful moments of vulnerability where I admitted to myself what I was scared of and slowly saw the fear of scarcity (3 of cups reversed) and uncertainty lift. Giving myself space to feel, and stepping back to decide that I’d make it work, I’d survive, not be miserable. Slowly as the agitation in my spirit lessened, I accepted the risk, the adventure, the trust in my own abilities, my calm returned. 

In a short space of time my triad of abundance had come to fruition. The Three of Cups combine the qualities of both the Ace and the Two of Cups. As I learn to love and trust my self, my abundance will grow and blossom. The 3 (triad) of three things in my learning about manifestation does not seem amiss as look at my way of interpreting the healing, fullness and abundance of this tarot card.

I hope you’ve followed me through my journey in learning about manifestation, learning to trust my gut, share and love, let go and grow through the process. Even though my (self inflicted – I chose to change jobs/hours) moment of overwhelm, I still believed that the universe would magick the answer to my manifestation. I thought it was just going to be a lesson in being less material, being more economic and open to a less dependant on money for a lifestyle or pleasures.  And now thinking back it, they have been just a tiny element of what I have learned about myself –  but the kicker?

It's always the unexpected things, the unexpected lessons or the unexpected journeys that have helped me grow the most. Click To Tweet

I got given my 6 month pay review (from my part time job) increase 4 months early. To be honest I was in shock for quite a while, but it challenged me to go, so if the fear is removed how can I continue to keep my mindset, my new attitude to money. When I was told I forgot to be suitably excited and grateful out of disbelief.  My first thoughts were: Okay magick manifestation – you got me. If I ever doubt again if I’m ever not open, trusting or super specific, not letting go for the beautiful experience that my manifestations teach me – I hope I can re-read this post and learn, realise how wonderful manifesting my dreams can be. Now I think “how can I use my abundance to share, manifest more things for my community and those I love?”.

It felt like the universe not only had a massive lesson to teach me, but had done it in the form of “cute” practical joke that it had been played on me. I’ll write more about how I view “the universe”, soon as I know I keep referring to it in 3rd person, but that is a post for another day.

The things I try to constantly remind myself about manifestation and the lessons it has taught me this year:

  • Love yourself and let in the love around you
  • Be super specific
  • Do not be expectant or anxious impatient for your manifestation to happen
  • Be trusting and let go the worry
  • Be open and ready to learn the lessons the universe would teach you
  • Be prepared to put in the hard work to bring your manifestation to life

May magikcal opportunities and doors open for you. May the lessons and personal growth be hard yet rewarding along the way.
I love to share stories of my experiences to show this magick is possible. I don’t mean to portray it as an easy or quick process that won’t also be challenging.  I acknowledge that my experience and journey is completely unique, my way of doing things will not work for everyone, and I acknowledge my privileges that make some of this possible. I am grateful for my abundance and do my best to share, build up and journey with those who I love, and those who’s needs I can make lighter.

Flossy xxx

 

Manifesting the magick of abundance: Ace of Pentacles

Manifesting the magick of abundance: Ace of Pentacles

Our selves, our lives are so full of possibilities waiting to be unearthed.  Sowing the seeds today, to manifest prosperity, abundance and starting to create those wonderful feelings of groundedness within ourselves in the future is magick. The message I’m taking from the Ace of Pentacles is to follow my gut instinct, dare greatly, manifest abundance, and take action when opportunities present themselves to me,

Manifestation is the art of creating a positive synergy in the universe, putting out there the things you want, being grateful for what you have and being willing to accept the universe providing in way that that challenges your expectations.

When I say I want my business to be able to support myself financially, my whole rhetoric and thought processes has been completely challenged.

  • How do I view money?
  • Am I attached to it?
  • Do I have a scarcity complex?
  • What is the emotional labour am I willing to exchange for money?
  • Most importantly, what do I consider to be “enough” money for me?

This continues to be and has been the most wonderful challenging journey in ways, I never expected. Manifestation of abundance can be as complex or by complete contrast the most simple thing.

I moved house in October last year from one room into a little 1 brm apartment. I didn’t have the money or the furniture to furnish my living area. I love to decorate in a unique creative way and the temptation to start browsing the internet for quirky furnishings was so tempting. As a highly visual person I created a vision in my mind’s eye of what I wanted my little house to look like. The colours, the textures and the fabric. Sometimes the things we dream of don’t come to us on a platter the way we imagine.

A seed of productivity has been planted in your life although you may not yet recognise it. When the seed sprouts, it could take almost any form. It might be a feeling of centeredness, desire for results or need to focus on practical matters. Being open to unexpected gifts, opportunities or synchronistic events surprising us with the answers to our manifestations.

I have always lusted after a luxurious chaise lounge, that almost fairy tale kind, long enough to lay on but not too long that it would take up my entire room. A dark velvety fabric with some sort of baroque pattern. You’re starting to see it in your imagination. Daringly I manifest all this to the universe.

I found myself talking out loud describing it and saying how excited I was and the feeling or how grounded and peaceful my house would feel all put together. All the wonderful things I could create, the friendships and conversations I’d share in the space I’d imagined in my head.

Then one day, driving through my local suburb, unexpectedly glancing at the hard rubbish / tip junk on the side of the road verge. Low and behold there was my couch!! Except it was a grimy peach, covered in mould, and tatty fabric looking sad and rejected in the damp grass. Exactly the opposite of what I’d imagined. The old peach fabric was covered in light mould, the wooden legs were rotting and the seat cover was a daggy torn leopard print . If I wanted my dream couch, there was going to be A LOT of hard work involved.

Manifestation is the art of creating a positive synergy in the universe, putting out there the things you want, being grateful for what you have and being willing to accept the universe providing in way that that challenges your expectations.

Today my couch is glorious, the jewel of my little nook. I found the exact fabric I wanted and saved up to buying it. I spent many hours sweating ripping fabric off the frame, stripping it back ready for its new life.

I embrace the element of risk and failure when I stick my neck out, manifesting new things and trying to effect disruptive change in my life. The Ace of Pentacles encourages me to go forward trusting the process, my practical self-knowledge and my openness to unconventional opportunities that I might otherwise have missed.

I’ve really had to be super patient to get what I’d wished for. Simple magick. I’m glad it happened this way as this couch means so much more to me, since I put so much effort and work into it myself. I could have gone and bought the finished product, but it wouldn’t have touched me, broken me, or taught me this lesson. It now carries memories of my my magick, my hard work and love – the precious gift manifestation has given me.

  • I asked for something super specific.
  • I was not expectant or impatiently waiting for it to appear.
  • I trusted the process, embraced the risk and let go of feelings of scarcity.
  • I was open and ready to learn the lessons the universe would teach me, in order to receive it.
  • I was prepared to put in the hard work to bring my manifestation to life.

 

I love to share stories of my experiences to show this magick is possible. I don’t mean to portray it as an easy or quick process that won’t also be challenging.  I acknowledge that my experience and journey is completely unique, my way of doing things will not work for everyone, and I acknowledge my privileges that make some of this possible. I am grateful for my abundance and do my best to share, build up and journey with those who I love, and those who’s needs I can make lighter.

Come join me – connect, share tea on my couch one day <3

Flossy xxx

Paid Internship / Contributor

Paid Internship / Contributor

Hello lovely readers, and friends.  Thanks for arriving here, clicking on the link / reading my work, it really means allot.

I need help, and even asking for help is quite a mental hurdle to overcome for me. The Capricorn rising stubbornness in me is uncomfortable with it. I have a “muggle job” (I work part time in an office) meaning I can pay you. Although for me, it means I have lots of smaller time-consuming jobs that really I am having trouble getting to, partially due to overwhelm and partially procrastination.

Internship

To this end, after talking to a wonderful friend of mine, Sarah – who runs an online magazine called “This Woman Can”, I’ve decided I want to offer a paid internship to the Queer community I am a part of, instead of outsourcing the work to an overseas “Fiver” type virtual assistant agency. I want to invest my meager pennies where my mouth/ community / audience is.

The work that needs doing:

  • Helping me work through a Tarot course content & uploading
  • Helping me implement changes that have been provided by the wonderful copy writer Valerie.
  • Following up on content I’m waiting for
  • Helping me organise shoots dates for the Queer Tarot card project

Contributor

I really write my content / articles / stories based on my personal experience and journey, so I have ebbs and flows in my creative ability to produce content.  If you write or would like to write about anything Magickal from a queer perspective I’d love pay you (all be it a wee amount) for your content / story / contribution to this site. Ideal topics would include the following:

  • Tarot
  • Creativity
  • Manifestation
  • Magick rituals or traditions from a queer perspective

 

Hopefully this might interest you, and you don’t need to be based in Melbourne to be able to work with me.  I would prefer if I can Skype you, and if you can let me know in the email form below how many hours a week you might have available to work with me.

Thanks heeeeeaaps in advance. I appreciate your support xx

Flossy

Does this sound like you or do you have more questions?

7 + 4 =

The Hierophant: Creating Magick & The Rockwell Project

The Hierophant: Creating Magick & The Rockwell Project

The Hierophant card signifies a hunger for knowledge, be it practical or in the Spiritual Realm.

Creating things is my sweet spot. My happy place when I loose hours a day, get engrossed in something an miss going to my Yoga class. (That happened this morning!) I do it and feel a rush of endorphins, a sense of satisfaction, productivity.  It’s exciting and makes my want to get out of bed every day.

How vast is this change from the article I wrote a month or so ago about having lost that magick when thinking about my business.  What changed? I went to a business coach and bought a new online course.  I picked up a old course I bought last year I think and my brain is lit up, excited again. I’m learning and implementing fast, and in doing so creating lots of new things.

She is calm and in possession of herself, she is the teacher who can help unravel mysteries.

When I started my business the Rockwell Project it was exciting, I was learning faster than my body could keep up. Being an Empath I started to feel pretty burned out and my productivity momentum came in waves. I had a vision for what I wanted it to be and chased it.  In doing so I lost sight of the original spark of creative magick that gifted me the business idea in the first place.  I wanted to help a friend teach her Tarot Workshops online! Simple. That idea spawned a massive overload of features, functions and services that I “could” share and provide for people. WOW. Not simple.

Since seeing having my little epiphany and doing what entrepreneurs do best – Pivoting, I’ve tried to focus back on Simplicity.

Are you making a decision based on what you believe you “should do” or are you tuned into your higher calling.

I’m always going to love the education side of what I do.  I’m very good at it, and I have solid career experience to know what I’m doing and how to best solve a problem or build LMS and learning solutions. Animating and making e-learning feeds a certain part of my need to be creative.  Building learning management platforms excites the problem solving and challenge loving side of me. It’s definitely a skill but it’s not really my higher calling, if you will. At the moment it’s my bread and butter, freelancing and contract work is paying my bills, allowing me to work part time and focus my passion, my love energy on my magick and creativity.

The Hierophant’s purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth, leading the flock in shared, communal rituals.

Separating the learning/ education and magick into two separate creatures, brands feels like a weight off my shoulders to full embrace each and create with in the confines of each.  My message can be clear, un-muddled and simple. Create Magick focuses on creating freedom and excitement in exploring Magick, the Tarot and self discovery and exploration that comes with it. It’s my heart-felt journey to working in a way that heals, connects and frees both those I work with and myself at the same time. This is my spiritual journey, my rituals and practices shared.

The Rockwell Project satisfies my need to help others on a technical and geeky level.  I love helping people build websites, start teaching things for themselves – It’s thrilling. Creating video, film and animations are equally satisfying but on a more base earthy, technical level.  Instructional Design would only be half of me if I wasn’t able to share and express my spiritual side, my journey too.

Together the Rockwell Project and Create Magick feel like a whole. For now, and as I continue to learn and grow myself. I am complete.