Learning to be afraid and not run away hide or try to repress it. Even the idea of sitting in a feeling letting it be letting it hurt. Checking my thoughts that are only focused outwards on what someone else did. Checking my own behavior, my attachment to ideals ideas dreams or ways of imagining or desiring a state of being, a status and feeling. when something isnt about the person its about wht they stand for to me or how I view myself when I am with someone or in a certain situation. That is what I meed to question. Dwelling on a relationship or certain status as permanent or desiring it to be permanent when nothing ever is. When state of flux is always the way when change is the only thing that is constant. Holding on to a thing for comfort or a perceived sense of stability or groundedness or love when all that I need is within me waiting to be discovered or more than discovered.. Just trusting the ourselves to get through it observing our thoughts our behavior as we do so. Brought out and purified of all the shit clustering around it. The distraction the mental chatter in our brains that never shuts up a always brings us down. That state of conscious kindness to ourselves. Compassion to ourselves and aware need of how our actions effect others. This is also something I am really starting even begin to comprehend. How giving our selves the space to be in the present moment feel every emotion and fear observe it but not dwell or by into it as an overwhelming truth. Because each emotion and fear too will pass a change. In times of trail and when things fall apart all is left is the immutable steadfastness or or being. We are still here. Our hearts still beat. We are now vulnerable and open stripped of the comforts or ideals and attachments we clung to. We need to rediscover the happiness that comes from inside ourselves. Observing the purity of being when we face the world with love that has no conditions, peace and compassion for others to make this world a better place by our being in it.
