Creative process can be such an interesting beast. From exploring shadow self, fear of rejection and pain. Learning to listen to my body and create space for my pain to allow creativity to be unjudged and with out expectations from self.

I allowed my body and emotions to drive me all last week at camp.  I let it break me, re-wild me, re-wire, re-pattern me. I let go, broke, and my mind fully released control – to my body. Tears flooded down my face, and my lungs heaved with releaf of releasing and acknowledging my trauma and pain. Not comparing it to the gravity of the experience that others shared, but appreciating the healing, and space held around me.

Self love is my sacred ritual. Diary of a Queer Witch. Traveling is like getting to know another dimension of yourself under a microscope. Everything in heightened.
Adventure, stress, excitement, exhaustion, feelings, happiness, and displacement. Being able to feel at home in yourself when your surroundings are constantly changing and on the move, letting go.

Finding a precious moment to be present and create this stream of consciousness and gratitude. To feel grounded in an urban routine of stopping for a second to allow my mind space to breathe.  I wouldn’t have imagined a few weeks ago how happy I’d be to have a long bus ride to work.

The arrogance of belonging. I belong here because I have showed up. It’s not enough to love my art, I must believe my art, my Queer Tarot project, all you wonderful humans who have touched my life with your stories – that you love me back.

I can imagine a place where the sky is magical and covered in stars, I feel safe and at home in my space- maybe a tent by myself, warmth envelops me in a comforting blanket of love, and my shape melds with blankets and covers. I like being that sexy slug. There I don’t feel like you have any expectations of me and what my confidence in myself should be. There I don’t have to be or do or look a certain way in order to gain approval from anyone.

You realise that, the only thing you are stuck isn’t even history it’s just mind. It’s a model you have of who you think you are, and who you think everyone else is. That’s all it is.  That exactly what is causing your suffering at this moment, is your own thoughtfulness and your clinging to them and saying “this is real”. And it is as simple as that, it really is the mind.”

All my life I have struggled with my mind being so afraid of being alone.  Rewriting this pattern is probably the hardest journey I’ve been on, and I know I’m still on it; because being alone made me feel unworthy and unlovable. Recognising this, I am starting work towards believing I am enough alone, loving myself alone, and as I am, authentically right now.

Rejection is negative judgment manifested, and judgment is subjective by nature. This means I can decide to interpret rejection as evidence of someone’s perception rather than as evidence of my flawed nature. People who reject me are the minority!

Queer Erotica: Pony Play. Reclaiming the devilish: Rewriting rejection with scratch marks, practicing self love with welts across my skin and positively reframing ‘neediness’ with raised red lines over my body.  That desire for affection, craving intimacy and wanting the comfort of physical touch are not weaknesses, and nor should I be ashamed of my desires and emotive affections.

Creative process can be such an interesting beast. From exploring shadow self, fear of rejection and pain. Learning to listen to my body and create space for my pain to allow creativity to be unjudged and with out expectations from self.

As I was crying it felt good to grieve and breathe. I’ve spent the last two days doubting myself, maybe now I can learn to rebuild that trust in myself again.

Maybe I am not ready but if one was always waiting to be ready that day would never come. Being not ready means being in it, being open to failure being open to hurt or vulnerability – which by the same token is love. So here I am not ready and doing it anyway.

I don’t have it down like a sales pitch, I can’t for the life of me keep to a publishing schedule and I try to email you all once a month at least even if I’ve dropped the ball while I’ve been away. So here I am showing up for what I want to create, showing up for this little community, YOU, this wee newsletter, my Queer Tarot project and saying – It doesn’t have to be right or perfect, so long as it happens, so long as I do the thing- somehow!

I have stories to tell. I am pouring my thoughts and feelings out into this journal so they are no longer a burden, no longer a heaviness I have to carry around. I feel light again and my mind has slowed down, the sleepless manic has subsided.

I know I will always have myself to love.

Goodbye 2018: Learning by failure, adventure and celebrating what I’ve achieved this year. Boy what a tumultuous ride. But many Queer Tarot things achieved

We’re so strange as humans we can watch mystery moving but when don’t know how it ends or don’t know the answers in our own lives we go crazy.  It’s like living the High Priestess card – allow the Mystery. Allowing myself to be a mystery, allowing my life to be a mystery. I feel it is very brave and vulnerable to live like this – but it’s also a great adventure, which what I want my life to be.

I was in the shower when the conceptual idea of creating my photographic Queer Tarot Cards. My contract with my creative inspiration currently means I have to make my Queer Tarot project happen, to give up myself, or to give myself over to the call to create. This is my story of gratitude.

Hi Pen Pal!! Ever felt like you’re in such a big state of change, flux that your feet aren’t on the ground but you just have to keep moving or you’ll fall out of the tornado that you’ve created? Queer Tarot Cards touring Canada, looking to shoot more Queer Tarot Cards in Vancouver!

All my life I have struggled with my mind being so afraid of being alone.  Rewriting this pattern is probably the hardest journey I’ve been on, and I know I’m still on it; because being alone made me feel unworthy and unlovable. Recognising this, I am starting work towards believing I am enough alone, loving myself alone, and as I am, authentically right now.

I’ve known a while that this project is so much bigger than me. It is the love, art and voices of all of us making magick together.  Even if all you did was “hosted an artist”. You changed my life and made this queer tarot deck possible.

I allowed my body and emotions to drive me all last week at camp.  I let it break me, re-wild me, re-wire, re-pattern me. I let go, broke, and my mind fully released control – to my body. Tears flooded down my face, and my lungs heaved with releaf of releasing and acknowledging my trauma and pain. Not comparing it to the gravity of the experience that others shared, but appreciating the healing, and space held around me.

The arrogance of belonging. I belong here because I have showed up. It’s not enough to love my art, I must believe my art, my Queer Tarot project, all you wonderful humans who have touched my life with your stories – that you love me back.

Queer Erotica: Pony Play. Reclaiming the devilish: Rewriting rejection with scratch marks, practicing self love with welts across my skin and positively reframing ‘neediness’ with raised red lines over my body.  That desire for affection, craving intimacy and wanting the comfort of physical touch are not weaknesses, and nor should I be ashamed of my desires and emotive affections.

Queers Throwing the Patriarchy out of Tarot Cards: The Emperor card can be super challenging as a queer person as it traditional represents masculinity, power, the law, an unemotional version of the patriarchy. I wish to encourage and support this magick in my queer community, and my love of Tarot will not let heteronormativity, or patriarchal overtones ruin my love for Tarot.

This life is too short not to connect on a spiritual, mental, philosophical and physical level with those who’s magick is in the same language as yours… ♡ Tie me up, bite me, be rough with me. Make my body remember the feeling your presence. Kiss me hard, be rough with me, let your fingers leave marks on my skin. There is power in my submission, I am in control of the experience, consent is my magick wand, and my soul yearns for this intimacy.

Many astrologers look to a person’s Sun placement to identify major life lessons. For instance, a person may choose to incarnate under a Gemini Sun so as to amplify themes of interpersonal connection and finding ones voice in this life. We choose a specific Sun influence to amplify specific rhythms in our lives. If the Sun is our head and the Moon is our heart, the Ascendant is our skin.

Interestingly in most Tarot depictions of the Hermit tarot card, they are never hiding away in a cave. Rather, they are out wandering,...

This card had symbolism for those that have difficulty experiencing love for themselves, let alone love for another being and finally gave me some hope of understanding why the goddess was choosing to repeat this message to me over and over again. Since then, I have been applying myself to loving those small parts of myself that feel unloved, working through my childhood experiences of feeling less than loved sometimes and thinking more and more of my community and how we struggle to be accepted in our choices of love.

You nor I cannot manifest or change someone else into being nicer, kinder or more loving.  You cannot change someone else, and it is not good for us either to wish harm to others. The universe would only throw that back in your face.  In those situations, all we control or influence is ourselves. We can change, react or simply leave the situation.